straitjacket feeling;

Sunday, February 29, 2004

19:32

i shd jus stop pigging out!
stop me!
my diet starts tmr! tmr!
it will start
im sure.

wenta ikea ystd!
food wus great as usual!
chicken wings yums!
seafood spaghetti superb!
choc pie oh my gawd!

budden there alwaes hafta hv dis little blot on my wonderful food
there wus dis fat woman hu wus sitting adjacent to da table 2 us
so vans wus VERY politely asking,"excuse me but can u help us look aft our seat fer awhile?"
tht fat woman shot us a superior look n went "NO. i tink u shd look aft it urself since it's ur own seat" or smth along tht line
WADEVA. i wus qt shocked. lyk s'pore got sucha selfish n fatty woman?
nw i believe got. i used to tink tht most s'poreans r qt shui bian wans.
but of course i din let tht stupid fatty woman spoil our trip la:)
vans is really crazy over markers mans
super. we brought lyk dunno how many packs of markers
den we hafta buy sum1's present. super heavy!
hahahhahas. lucky xiao v brg hm
but she hafta drag to twn first den go hm
sorrie xiao v! mk u drag hm!

reach hm at abt 5 plus?
wus dead beat mans.
cca wus quite xiong i tink?
PT wus super bang! hahhahahs
lurf my PT ncos!:)
can we play soccer nxt wk?
fd wus da same old thg
march march march
anyone got any new ideas to mk fd interesting?
but i seriously doubt fd can b made mre interesting
hahahhaas
tink i wus qt harsh w da sec 3s?
but it hafta b done la
not harsh nw den nxt time they will suffer
but i hate screaming at ppl
darn energy-draining
almost zao xia
speaking of tht xiao v did jus tht ystd!
hahahahahahaahs
wusnt near her but i cld hear laughter frm our sqddies
hahhahahahhas

[xiao v] cheers k? i did it jus nw n i will do it agn. -hugs vans. it's gna b ok! da storm will blow over real soon!:) btw if u will kindly stop calling me xiao qiu wiv tht china accent i might stop calling u xiao v. cus dis mk us both sound lyk china kia! hahhahahaas!

[gen] dun b so stressed out k? n ur nt to disappear! no disappear! otherwise my fedex all gone le:)! jia you fer ur speech! i'd b rooting fer ya!-grin.

07:16

have been up since 0550.
mum left ald.
:/

it's so peaceful n quiet in the morn!
such tranquilty...
i shld start getting up early every sun morns frm now on.

something vann said yesterday got me thinking.
"sick of being caught in the middle of a slacker n a worker"
im sorry.

Saturday, February 28, 2004

21:13

eeks! our blog's really getting stagnant!
no one comes here anymore!
but we dun update it very frequently either...
can see all the mouldy mould growing..
*grins*

i cant believe it.
my mum's going KL tomm with my aunt and uncle.
n im staying put in spore!
mummy! i want to go too!
:(:(:(
ive been dedicated to do the laundry again.
i dun like to the laundry.
guess ive no choice.
either i do the laundry or let the dirty clothes pile up n stink up the whole house.
urgh.
*shudder*
geez.
im starting 2miss my mum ald.
:(:(:(

me n qius both got A1s for chi Os!!!
knew it was good news for her after i heard her victory whoop!
*hugs qius*
sure's happy man.

kotc's presentation next wk.
dun think writing the essay's a gd idea after all.
cos we'd just be repeating the points we've presented again.
zies!
how>
shld me n qius go on with the essay?

Sunday, February 22, 2004

21:44

boo!
wanni por! i dun deserve it! im not tht great YET.
YET. hehehhehs. whn i am. i want a even bigger dedication!
hahhahahas

2dae wus sucha bore.
so draggy. at least tuition provided sum kinda entertainment?
we were last agn. as usual. i mean wad's new?
so off we go on shooting dwn differentiation qns!
but unfortunately we only shot dwn 3 qns? hahahhas
we took lyk almost 4hrs?
seah?? u reading dis?? hahahahhas. ur maths leader is lan! hahahhas
needa do my maths ltr on.
but get on w it. or i dun needa slp ald!

n yeps. MAA wus great!!!
red carpet wus superb.
n nope. i din c suzanne walker.
wad kinda stripping loser she is??
stripped stripping loser!
hahahhas. getting lame here.
hahhahas. shant say too much abt it.
tho me n jo stood frm 1330 to 2200 plus??
reached hm ard 2330? hot n sticky n high!!
but i wanta go agn!! MAA rox mans!
no matter wad sum papers say..

gotta run..
needa do maths..
or im sunk..

lurfya loads wans!
my bestest bestest mate eva!
/grin

Friday, February 20, 2004

23:24

changed the backgrd again.
*grins*
it's for qius: for all the times when she had reached out n helped me get back on my feet.

love you.

Thursday, February 19, 2004

19:34

PMB INVESTITURE WAS A BLAST mans...
hahahahs... enjoyed myself so damn much though my feet were screaming in pain.
*beams*
im gonna keep all these happy memories with me forever.
though it's kinda sad in some ways..
this's gonna be the last investiture in st nicks'.
the last time im going 2 work my ass off for a pmb event.
last...
i dun want to think abt it.
not yet anyway.

hmmm.. let's see wad i can remmeber today.
1. rushing 2 sku @ 0640. earliest time ive ever reached sku.
2. running abt like 1 crazy woman. getting the stuff ready.
3. walking all the way back 2 class 2 borow markers, only to find out tt u were all @ the ava rm. poor sheez n me.
4. ms choo's stones soup.
5. jdi's chinese sppech... she was so hilarious!!!
6. forgetting the dance moves on stage.
7. seeing qius n vann's grinning faces when i was on stage.
8. lazing ard in the pm room.
9. making funnig faces -- slackers utd!!!
10. english test. nearly fell asleep.

chai n i were partners on stage...
n qius were saying tt we made a very cute couple.
hee hee.. n now she's my cute 1/2.
love her loads man.

i love the zies loads too!!!
n sheez.
n bobs.
heard abt our very successful eng presentation. :):):)

eiz. pams. qius. vanns. wans.
yeah!!!
*hugs*

Sunday, February 15, 2004

22:59

went over 2 pamm's house 2 do project to day.
both eng n lit.
becos bobs n sheez were there too, we did eng 1st and boy! did we have loads of fun.
vann's was my maid n i had 2 abuse her..
dunno how many times we had 2 retake tt scence becos i cldnt screech 'orchid.....!' properly.
*grins*
then sheez was sucha natural at being an abusive employer...
n bobs, an aspiring maid to be.
:):):)
then we have eiz, the natural taitai... poor pams.
also not forgetting our instructor, qius.
she got a big shock when i told her tt i've neva been 2 the kitchen all my life, n if i want 2 throw things, i just throw them out of the window.

oh mans. i love u all!!!
aies!
yay!
n sheez. n bobs.

love u all.

ilu too, gen/.

wans

Saturday, February 14, 2004

17:45

im so tired.
so tired tt even my bones are sore.
:(:(:(

i want work to be distributed fairly.
i dont want us to be working so hard, hoping everything will go well and turn out nice but some people are just hanging ard, pretending to do something.
pretending to be busy with things when those things are dammit easy.
n these pple shldnt be doing stuff tt they arent supposed 2 do.
doing things tt will trust them in the limelight when we do all the backgrd work.

i dont mind doing the backgrd work.
but i dont want the due credit going to the wrong pple?
like them.

okay. wadeva.
just feeling mean. tired. exhausted.

qius n jo are @ maa now!
i want to sssssssooooooooooooooooo badly.
too bad.
house arrest.
urgh.

/wans

Friday, February 13, 2004

12:30

i seriously dunno wada do.
sum tell me pls?
izzit my fault tht im nt a gd enuf fd nco?
izzit my fault tht all dis hafta end up lyk dis?
i ges da ans is yes.
but i believe i tried my best..
i really did.
evrytime i go dwn 4 drills there's dis sense of i-dunno-wad?
i hate scolding them
i hate putting them in pumping position
i hate repeating the same old thgs all da time
it gives me dis perturbed feeling
tht im nt doing my job well
but does any1 knw?
i knw i cancelled fd cus ur hv no improvement
but i dinno knw tht there will such gr8 reaction
i nv knew.
i actually thot tht sum of ur will b happy if fd sessions wus cancelled?
at least thtx wad i c frm ur drills?
n i dunno how 2 interpret all the cryings
sum1 pls tch me? god? u there? tell me? pls?
izzit cus ur tink tht i gaf up on all of ya?
izzit cus ur love fd too much?
i dunno.
i really appreciate the effort ur put in2 nt trying 2 mk so much mistakes
i really do.
in fact im really touched tht ur r all crying abt dis
does dis show tht ur really care alot abt sj?
i tink it does.
but i still dunno how ur feel.
sum1 care to tell me?
seeing ur all crying lyk tht gif me dis loserfied feeling
i hate seeing ppl cry
much less sae mk ppl cry
i want ur to tell me hw ur feel
but no1 wanta open their mouths 2 tell me
i knw sum of ur tried ur best
but dun tink tht ur best wus nt enuf
it's mre than enuf
but it's jus tht all of ur knw tht ur can do it
it's da matter of if u wanta do it anot
i wanta b a proud fd nco too
same case w rina

i will nv gif up on ur
i nv will
but i did play w tht thought
but im mre determined than ever to be a gd fd nco
i can take any constructive comments
actually any kinda comments
unlike sum 2 person i knw

wad hv u done to ur own life qiu?
nvm if u wrecked it
but dun go ard wrecking other ppl's.
i din mean to spoil all of ur vdae
wad a loser
/buries head in hands

Monday, February 09, 2004

18:59

qius n jo are going to maa!!!
hahahahahs.. probably spending vdae lounging @ home n having chi tuition.
:):):)
though i wont be there, ive ald asked qius 2 help me take pix!
*excited*
n im being excited for them.
*grins*

Saturday, February 07, 2004

20:58

IM GOING TO MAA!!!!
dances ard
grinning lyk mad woman
jumping ard
screaming abt my red carpet opportunity!

it all still seem so unreal
jus rmb sexy dan:) saying he wanta pick ppl frm da back
den he said "da gurl wiv da poster sexy dan pick me cum rite up" or smth
n i wus lyk "my poster rites?"
den i turn behind to look at jo n she wus screaming
n i started screaming. dropped da board n started running
den sexy dan shouted aft me to brg it upstage
wonder wad he wants it upstage fer..hhahahas
woman at da barricade din wanta lemme in
n i wus lyk "but he picked me!"
den sexy dan lemme go up stage
played dis mummifying game w dis real skinny guy
wearing a YELLOW BODYSUIT
both of us hafta use toilet roll to mummify us 2gether
n we got 4th!
lucky me!
prize: tix to MAA + red carpet passes!!!!!
WOOHOO!
going w jo. we r so gna enjoy a hell of a time!!!:)
RED CARPET!!! HW MANY TIMES IN UR LIFE DO U GET TO DO DIS??
i seriously cnt wait fer vdae to cum!:)
SORRIE RINS!:(

SEXY DAN ROX MY WORLD!
countdwn to vdae: 7 mre daes!

Friday, February 06, 2004

21:01

ive so many thinghs i want to say.
so many thing i want to tell u.
so many things i want to find out from u.

but i dont dare.
fraid tt i will be ridiculed.
fraid tt i will set tongues wagging.

oh wells.
still want u to noe tt: iloveyou.